Wednesday, August 15, 2007

wadapakingshet

Hay. Sana naman sinabi nang mas maaga na hindi tuloy para naman hindi ako naghintay sa wala. Ang aga ko pa man ding dumating. Umasa ako sa pakingshet na hindi dumating. Nagmukha akong ewan.

Badtrip, pare, badtrip.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Distraksyon.


Hay anu ba kras. Alam kong maganda ka pero wag mo naman ipangalandakan ang taglay mong karikitan kapag nagsusulat ako para sa blog ni diwa. Oks yung paminsan-minsang dalaw sa kukote ko, pero pwedeng hanggang ganun lang? I mean, wag namang magtatambling sa isip ko kapag hinahabol ko ung train of thought ko.

Ayan tuloy. Naiwanan ako nung tren. Kelan ang next ride? Half-draft na naman ang nagawa ko. Pwede ko bang i-post to? Hindi. Kasi ang nagmamagaling na manunulat gaya ko ay hindi kuntento sa mga ganitong bara-barang sulat. Kumbaga sa sinaing, hilaw pa. Kumbaga sa prutas, manibalang. Kumbaga sa pag-ibig, kulang sa lambing.

Tandaan mo, para sa future natin to. Kapag naging batikan akong manunulat; kapag pinipilahan na ako ng mga tao; kapag buddy-buddy ko na yang mga dinidiyos kong writers; tayong dalawa ang magdidiwang (teka, maging tayo muna pala!)

Tandaan mo, ikaw lang ang ginagawang inspirasyon ko. Pero inspiration sana. Wag distraction :/


Thursday, August 2, 2007

Have Vegetables. Will Have Sex

I won't beat around the bush, or any plant for that matter. Our vegetarian friends won't like it. So here's what made this entry possible: Vegans begin shunning sex with meat-eaters.

Yes, aside from the word sex, you read the rest of it right. Indeed, that was one bloody news for the carnivores out there. For your sexual urges to be rejected is normal and understandable. But to be shunned because you like your steak well-done, now that's really blubber, er, flabbergasting.

But I don't feel any revulsion. On the contrary, I find this amusing, if not downright hilarious. For one, it's quite funny how some people (hey, they are called vegansexuals!) would take their professed beliefs to the extreme. It's like seeing a vegetarian version of a religious extremist, except that instead of whacking everyone with a cleaver, they use pineapples.

Second, the news strikes a more personal chord, that of my hamburger-powered heart. You see, my voracious appetite is what keeps the meat industry alive. If it is not for us carnivores, the world ecological order, the food chain, pyramid and cycle would have gone bonkers. Name anything with scales, hairs, feathers, claws, and teeth and chances are, I have eaten it. Now let us not get started with animal products or this entry will get, well, cheesy.

I can see where the vegetarians are coming from when they say something about animal love. Let me hasten to add that I do love animals. But my love for them extends beyond the reaches of my heart - from my chest up to my tongue. When a vegetarian sees a cow happily grazing on a field, they see harmony and peace with nature. But when I see the same picture, I see carnage, with bits and every bloody bits of that hooved mammal on my menu.

Just kidding. But that brings me to my third point. Vegansexuals won't dare explore the anatomy of a meat-eaters because for them, they are "graveyard of animals". While advocating against cruelty on animals is admirable, it goes against the grain (pun unintended) of logic to extend their green fury to the hapless meat-eater.

So bottomline is, while these type (subclass?) of vegetarians are commendable for their steadfast advocacy, they display a kind of discrimination. Food after all signifies the freedom to choose. That's why food comes in all kinds of preparations and presentations. A person's diet does not make him or her any less of a person, or in this context, less sexy and sexual. So it's quite absurd to bring whatever it is in your dining table to your bedroom (although you can bring your bedroom activities to the dining room, but that's another story.)

But hey, while they are it, maybe I, the carnivore that I am, can indulge in their prejudices. Come to think of it, where do these vegansexuals get their energy for a night of intense lovemaking? From saluyot? Do they use those kinky leafy underwears? SO they don't they engage in rough, wild, animal sex, do they? And gasp, I can only imagine their "toys"? Last but not the least, aren't they already eating meat when they do sex? *wink wink*

*****

Monday, July 30, 2007

Bano

Oholipakkingfez, paano nga ba mag-edit ng background, banner, format, at links ng blog? Naku, kung bakit kasi dehin ako nakinig nung hayskul sa HTML. Hahaha. Sensya kinailangan ko lang ipost ang katangahan ko.

ZHELPMEPLIZ!


My Treatises for a Classless Society


Students! Throw away your books! You can include your diarrhea-prone pens and unused notebooks! Just bring yourself and perhaps one of life's basic necessities: instant noodles. Or whatever. Heed my call! Together, we shall march our Chuck Taylors and Havaianas to wherever our uncorrupted intellect may take us. For we are about to embark on this lifelong struggle for a society that our jovial, freedom-loving, and individualistic societal designation - the student body - has so badly longed for: a classless society.

Tama mga iskulmeyts, isang lipunang walang klase!

And in light of these pronouncements, let me present my treatises why we should skip classes altogether and frolic someplace else with the consenting members of the opposite sex. While the majority of it maybe personal, I do believe that many of you feel that same weight on my back that our older kindred has so unjustly derided as laziness. Injustice, my test cheatmates, injustice!

So please indulge me some of your inordinate attention, for I won't be worthy of it once we achieve this much-desired success.

1. The school is but another instrument of the state in order to perpetuate the existing dominant ideology. The pursuit of superficial achievements like A's, unos, and teacher's praises are the ideological gordian knots that we can't untie. And these cater to the whims of those elite snotty grade-conscious geeks! I dare say we cut it to free ourselves. Right, cut the ties that bind! Cutting-classes!

2. The professors are state police disguised as old grumpy terror teachers. Indeed, the very description doesn't escape our critical eyes - they are terror profs! Born, created, trained, and machinated to sow terror unto the unwilling minds of students, causing them sleepless nights and zombified looks. Why? Thesis, term papers and other requirements, that's why! And haven't you noticed how *name of your prof* looks very much like a politician? Some of them might even be murderous aliens from the galactic outskirts.

3. Our parents are willing accomplices in this conspiracy. You noticed how our allowances are just barely enough for food and transportation fees? Because having extra moolah will tempt us to exercise that little power for recreation (and maybe procreation). Break free from this financial hegemony!

4. Environmental protection. Test papers only add up to the already-growing mountains of waste. Just think of the next generation's welfare. No test papers, no trees cut, one healthy earth. Happy!

5. Expanded Economic Growth through Consumer Buying. Imagine the remarkable and unprecedented growth of the Philippine economy not seen since the Stone Age if we students will embark on days-long shopping spree. The hours of being cooped inside the room can be productively turned into hours of spending. The student-led consumer spending will encourage investments which will in turn bring economic prosperity. Be a responsible citizen. The fate of the country is in our hands. Spend now!

6. The threat of terrorism. Terrorism knows no boundaries. Who knows, some heartbroken suicidal wacko might try to assuage his depression by eating truckloads of camote, onions, beans and Coca-Cola, and then do thousand sit-ups inside our canteen - where we are miserably spending our school-imposed 30-minute break. There right beside us is a weapon of mass destruction waiting to explode. See? The higher order's futile attempt to brainwash is putting us more in danger. Public places like school are potential targets. We are better off inside our houses.

7. Global Warming. Our crusade's success will be nothing but a pyrrhic one if we won't have any earth to go to. The planet is in grave danger of apocalyptic annihilation if it continues to heat up like siopao left inside the steamer. One study shows that city congestion abets this doomsday. Carbon dioxide from our breath and noxious fumes from the vehicles we use commute to school adds more fuel to this impending hell. Save the earth!

8. The television and the Internet are the new fountains of knowledge. The knowledge we seek cannot be found inside the restrictive confines of the state-run classrooms. It can only be found outside and paradoxically, inside our houses - right there on our table and desktops. The internet is the cornucopia, the Bible, the Holy Grail, and the Rosetta Stone of all mortal knowledge. There's no porn inside the classroom, my sensuous comrades!

9. Your lady love isn't available for a date because of hectic academic schedule. Ah, injustices of all injustices! A flower of love blooming inside the barren grounds of the campus is but a futile attempt in emotional gardening. It's a story with a foregone conclusion bereft of any romantic narration of critical details that only precious moments of being together can provide. Make love, not war. And not inside the classroom.

These, my despondent comrades shackled by this oppressive school run by an old unmarried virgin principal, are my treatises. We march forward and never shall we turn back. As some crazy smelly-looking bearded German guy once said: Students of the world, unite! For we have nothing to lose but our grades!

**********
From my book (kuno): Rationalizing Laziness


**********


*Sigh* Look what thesis can do to me. :/

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

SONA-pabits!

Kamusta naman yun. Dahil sayad hanggang sahig ang tama ko dun sa kras kong tibak, sumama ako sa isang kilos protesta nung Lunes. Tama, nakipag-rally ang ating bida. Kasama ng ibang kapwa niya tibak, nag-martsa kami papuntang Batasan para singilin si Gloria sa araw ng kanyang SONA.

Pero, siyempre, di tungkol kay GMA ang ating kwento.

Pero bago ang lahat, sabihin ko na perstaym kong sumama sa isang rally dito sa Peyups o kung saan pa man. Sa tanda ko sa Peyups e, wala pa akong sinamahang kilos protesta. I am not apathetic. I just don't care. Joke. Noon ko pa dehin trip ang mag-rally. Pero siyempre, blessing in the skies na tong tsansang to kung sakali. Tsansa nang makita siya in action don sa SONA, kaya go agad ako! Tsaka da mubs na rin, kung magkita nga naman kami sa rally, pagkakataon para mag-usap. Parang ganito nakikita kong heart-to-heart talk namin:

Kras: "Oi! I-ikaw!"
Ako: "Oi! Ako nga! At ikaw, ikaw rin!"
Kras: "Haha, honga ako rin."
Ako: "Ako. Ikaw. Tayo?"

(Tatawa siya sabay hampas sa akin. Sasalagin ko sabay hawak sa kamay niya. Hmm, mga 5 seconds siguro.)

Kras: "Andito ka.."
Ako: (bitaw sa kamay niya) "Ah, alam naman natin na si GMA e.." yadda yadda blahblaboom.

(Tas mag-uusap na kami tungkol sa politika, bansa, kyeme. Tas segway sa usapang pag-ibig...)

Kaching! Kaching! 10,000 pogi points! Me butal pang singko, pambili ng puto!

So ayun nga. Todo papogi naman ako para sa big day. Excited e. Nilipad ko ang papuntang college kasi roon ang tagpuan. Tagpuan namin - asa! Nang malapit na ako sa may building e parang napansin ko siya sa may waiting shed. Hinihintay ako ni labiduds, sa loob loob ko. Pero nang makalapit na sa kanya e dinaga ako sa dibdib. Kaya para dehins dyahe e deretso ako sa CR. Hilamos ako para alis kaba. Tas retouch na rin ng buhok para swabe pa rin.

Pagbalik ko ay napansin kong andon na ang ibang mga tibak. At.. at... at wala na siya.

Shet na malagket! Nasan siya!!!

Fast forward sa martsa. Yung hanay namin, nasa dulo yata ng daigdig. Nasa unahan yung ibang kolehiyo. Badtrip ang buhay. Pero go pa rin kasi stopover naman sa may Batasan. At least don pwede ko siyang mahanap.

"Junk HSA! Isama na si GMA!"
"Imperyalismo! Burukrata Kapitalismo! Pyudalismo! Ibagsak!"
"Labs kita, beybeh! Maging tayo na, oyeh!"

Yan ang theme song ng rally. Maliban siempre sa huling line. Napag-isip isip ko kasi, ano nga kaya kung isigaw ko ang aking nag-uumapaw na damdamin para sa iyong sintang mahal na hirang na labs ko poreber? Tutal, ibang klase vocal chords nung mga tibak, di maririnig yung akin.

Nang biglang..!

Nakita ko siya sa may harapan! Hindi ko nakita yung mukha pero sigurado ako na siya yun. I knew because i have the power of love. Teneng! So ayun nga, naka-pula siya, color of the day. Me hawak siyang banner o bandila yata yun. So nagpista naman ang puso ko. Joy, oh joy. Siguro mga 3 minutes din yun.

Ayun, nawala ulit sya.

Fast forward ulit. Sa may Ever Gotesco na kami. Hanggang doon lang, binarikadahan ang daan papuntang Batasan. Maraming tao. Andon na rin yung ibang militanteng grupo. Mainit. Maingay. Magulo. At mamamatay na ako sa kapraningan kasi di ko siya makita-kita! Bali na ang leeg ko kakalingon at nangangapal na talampakan ko kakaikot palakad lakad. Alas tres na, ipinako na si Hesus. Kaya todo-dasal ako. Pero di ko pa rin siya ma-sense.

Kung di rin naman kasi engots, bakit don pa sa rally balak dumamubs. Grabe, desperado na nga yata ako. Hay. Kaya ayun, matapos ang ilang oras na pagdurusa (my heart, oh pain!), kahit pa may mga sandaling masaya, umuwi akong olats. Sabi nga ng UpDharmaDown: luhaan, sugatan, di mapakinabangan.. : (

Hay, kasalanan mo to Gloria!!!

Friday, July 13, 2007

My Activist Crush Skirts the Issue

Literally. Hehe

Noong Martes, habang nakatambay kasama ng org ko, nakita ko na naman yung uber-crush kong tibak (short po ng aktibista). Kaso nung panahong yun, mas matagal akong nagpista sa mukha nya. Ok, sa katawan pala. Kasi naman, naka-palda ang lola mo. Grabe. First time ko siyang makitang nagsuot ng ganun. Ah, lakas tama na naman.

Siempre, para di halata, patay-malisya ako. Kunwari nakikipag-usap sa mga kasama ko. Pero lilingon-lingon ako para masipat ko mula sa malayo si kras (wala pa pala akong term of endearment sa kanya). Anyway, tamang trip lang pala na magsuot ng cap ang mga mahilig sa ligaw-tingin. Di obyus. Hehe.

Pero nalingat yata ako at nawala siya bigla. Natapos na yata yung meeting nila ng mga kausap niya. Basta nawala siya roon sa lugar niya.

Ay tamaan ka ng bagkat! Nasa may tabi ko na pala! Akala ko ay tuluyan na niya akong aakitin at sasabihin na gawin na namin ang matagal ko nang ninanais (ang kumain kami ng siomai). O baka naman napansin niya ang sightseeing na ginagawa ko. At bigla syang dumukwang…

Kinuha lang pala ang bag.

Ahh. Nosebleed. Tugs-tugs-tugs-tugs yung kabog yung puso ko. Kasinglakas yata ng bass ng jeepney nung mga feeling hiphop na driver. Naka-upo kasi ako sa may hagdan at nasa may tapat ko siya nang kinuha yung bag. At mula sa ilalim ng cap kong me juts design ay kitang-kita ko ang matagal nang itinago ng kanyang pantalon. Ah, heaven pare. Pero, siempre hanggang legs lang pero yun pa lang ay pede ko nang ikamatay.

Sa loob ng limang segundo na pagkuha niya ng bag (na hindi ko alam paanong napunta sa may lugar ko) ay na-visualize ko na ang aming future: pagkagaling sa klase o sa rally na kung saan ay isinama niya ako, kakain kami sa isang beef pares house. Pede ring sa may siomaiyan. T’as magsusubuan kami habang kasinglagkit ng matamis na bao ang aming pagtititigan. At…

At umalis na sya.

Hay.. sana magkakakilala kami.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Home (and) Sick.

So it came to pass that the greatest and strongest self-appointed superhero would succumb to the most dreaded sickness ever: common colds.

Yes, after several hours of wrestling with my draining nose, I hereby admit - albeit reluctantly - my mortality and accede to my mother's demand to take a rest. Soon , these micro-buggers inside me will mutate into flu that will devour what little remains of the greatness in me. Then I'll die a lonely hero, fading into the darkness even before I reach my prime.

Ok, I am exaggerating. But it kind of pisses me, though. Just when my mental motors start whirring, sending me back to writing binge, my body gets confronted with this illness. It must be my thesis, or the rainy season, that unclogged whatever it was that blocked my brain. Unfortunately, the clog went down to my nose.

But no, I won't succumb to just mere colds. I have to answer a greater calling and I can do it better away from the bed. So expect me to post my adventures more often.

If you won't hear from me after three days, then I'll probably be dead.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Lazyass Superhero

I really don't know why I put up a blog like this if I can't even bring myself to update it regularly. Not that I can't write. I mean, I have numerous ideas in my head and in my notebook. I also have many half-finished banana articles [some of which I wrote immediately after half-finishing the other] rotting in my document folders. Why I could not finish them all and post in this space befuddles me.

Is it because having too much ideas is counterproductive, paralyzing me instead of jumpstarting my online fame? Or is it because I procrastinate too much? Argh, must be the abundance of distractions.

Don't worry superfriends (if you're still alive waiting for to be rescued). I am reorganizing the mess that is my brain.

Aayusin ko muna ang balat sa tinalupan, ika nga. LOL




Monday, May 14, 2007

Pero Boboto Pa Rin Ako

Magulo (kasi manual botohan)
Maingay (siksikan na naman)
Mainit (hindi lang katawan, pati ulo)
Madaya (me flying voters at dagdag-bawas)
Marumi (marumi ung ink, nakakabanas!)

May kurakot na kandidato (meron bang hindi?)
Meron ding sugarol (dapat magsama kayo ni Erap!)
Epal din pala si Erap.
Mayroong nagpapakajologs (tol mo mukha mo!)
Mayron ding tunay na jologs (representative ng jologs, ba yan?)

Mayroon pa ring artista!
Meron ding nagfi-feeling artista
Mayroon Sharonian at Vilmanian
May kriminal
May mukhang kriminal

Mayroong bading at mukhang bading (pasintabi sa mga tunay na bading)
Andiyan si Kuratong baleleng!
Meron ding mutineer (Yung beterano at yung bagito sa kudeta)
May political dynast
Anak ni ganito ganyan na apo ni kuwan na asawa ng tita ng ate ng aso nila

Grabe, buti di ako vegetarian (ilibing dapat yan sa Senado)
Merong tuta ni GMA (lahat pala sila)
Merong sinungaling (ah lahat din pala sila)
Team unity my ass
GO to hell!

Comelec ang magbibilang (god, why have you forsaken us?)
Me nandaya (yung nanalo)
Me nadaya (yung natalo)
Me ngangawa (yung natalo)
Me bagong magnanakaw (yung nanalo)

May sinungaling (kampon ni GMA)
Mayroon ding dating sinungaling (kampon naman ni Erap)
Hindi lang pala sinungaling si GMA, magnanakaw din (ng boto)
De-Pidal ang eleksyon
Sana mamatay na si Yoda.

Ah, kapag nakikita ko ang mga dahilang yan
Mas lalo akong ginaganahan bumoto.
Alisin sila sa pwesto!
Nasa kamay natin ang pagbabago!